summary...

Just to summarize the whole god damn bloody forsaken freaking fucking year of 2008.

.::][ January ][::.

What a start to the year 2008, we join “Da ShowCase IV” dance competition and got fourth place. It was really one of the most fun moments I ever had. It was nice to celebrate the New Year with your close friends and a whole bunch of strangers.

A few days later, both my sisters became models for EMPI fashion show which was being held at Arab Street. It was really a fun night. I was one of the dressers, which was kind of really cool. I mean, you get to change some of the really cute guys and see them strip to their briefs.

I had chicken pox! It totally freaked the shit out of me but at least it’s over. Pure torture, that’s all I can say and have to say about it.

Oh ya, January were also the month of our freakingly stupid “Miss Asia Pacific 2020”. Now, who the fuck can forget about that stupid competition among ourselves. We were all out for that bloody competition, trying to gain votes, and doing stupid shits. Anyway, just to refresh everyone’s memories, here are all the contestants:-

Suri Rupaulee, Miss Sri Lanka aka Fadly
Shemale' Ururu, Miss Guatanabe aka Nazron
Alicia Mino, Miss Philippines aka Ifah
Wartini Hardjo, Miss Indonesia aka Q
Guzabelle Ngo, Miss Vietnam aka Gazali
Reysha D/O Arumugam, Miss India aka Izhan
Ryoshi Ikuk Ikuk, Miss Japan aka Ayis
Maryam Kaukuda, Miss Malaysia aka Fadz

Last but now least, it was the start of pure hell, The Cantonement Drama. I regret it big time, I learned from my fuck-up stupid mistake and I found out that I could always count on my parents, no matter what happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ February ][::.

We had our so-called annual family picnic at Changi Beach and also celebrated Nadia’s birthday. It was rather calming and relaxing. And I really needed it. Wanie got engagement, was truly happy for her. It was also Ifah’s birthday and we celebrated as one so-called happy group of friends. Firstly, we went eating at “Billy Bombers” after that we went shee-sha at Arab Street and watch “Ah Long Pte Ltd” at Cathay Cineplex.

Oh ya, I completely forgot that we collaborate with Shada & Aty for “Smack Dat Beat 360 Degrees” dance competition. What a place to practice at! Never mind, no comments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ March ][::.

This was the month I sort of freak out. My dad told me that he decided not to sponsor for my studies. He told me if I really want it, I should find a job and save up my money and pay for my studies myself. I totally freaked out.

I was fucking bloody supposed to quit the dance scene after this dance competition but fucking shit, I did not. And I still hate myself for not quitting at that point of time. Well, at least we got third place in the dance competition. Even though I personally think that, it was rather crap but thank god, most of the other crews were much crappier.

And I also got back in contact with Fid! One of the most stupidest but sweetest jackass that I know of. Fucking piece of shit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ April ][::.

Condolences to Nurul and her family. As she lost her father in an unjust manner and I really do pray that, the person who did the unthinkable act would get caught soon.

Another fuck-up thing that happen, we collaborated with D.U.A. and call ourselves some stupid shitty name that I can’t be bothered to remember.

We celebrated Q’s birthday at the now defunct M.O.S. Overall, I had fun even though there were a few screw up things that happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ May ][::.

I still feel stupid for going ahead with the dance competition. It was for “Dance Xplosion 2008” dance competition. Well, thank god, we did not make it through to the next round.

I got freaking selected for this work-and-study program, totally freaking excited about it. I even went to the bloody seminar and had freaking fun making friends with the people there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ June ][::.

One of my most depressing months ever! My cell got spoilt! I lost all my freaking contacts and I actually cried. 268 names and numbers, all gone just like that. Now in my current cell, I have less than 100 contacts. This is so freaking depressing but at least I’m keeping in contact with three quarter of them.

Ouh ya, Me and Izhan went for our boyfriends’, SFB, workshop. We had a blast making a fool of ourselves that is. But it was really interesting to learn new and different styles of dance.

We, P.H.A.T. Inc started our practice again for a July performance as we were personally invited by Madam Hasnah to do the show.

Affyq’s birthday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ July ][::.

I rejected the work-and-study program as I got selected to do sales which I seriously condemn with every fiber in my body.

This was the start of our back-to-back outings, which I had really planned and all that crap. First up was the “Red Affair” outing to dbl0 to support other dance crews.

It was also the month of relationships. Very weird and interesting relationships.

I started working as a customer service officer at Nokia Service Center (Parkway Parade). Totally crap but thank god, I lasted for 2 months or so. I take it as a learning experience and just to gain more knowledge.

We rock the house down with our performance.

My grand-aunt passed away.

Izhan’s birthday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ August ][::.

I started hating my job at Nokia. LOL! And I also started to get pissed off at Gazali.

We meet up almost every weekend.
- “Red Affair” at dblO
- Shee-sha outing at Arab Street
- East Coast camping/picnic
- Suntec Dance Competition 2008 Semi-finals
- dblO before the fasting month.

Our friendships were being put to the test.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ September ][::.

Iftar at lagoon was so nice. My B came down and I still do miss him. Very weird! The start of my stupid fucked up butterflies, bumblebees and bears running around in my stomach.

The start of the Junior and Senior theories which I find that it’s rather ridiculous, come to the think of it.

Everyone had personal issues with themselves.

Nazron’s birthday.

Last but not least, I went to Queenstown Remand Prison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ October ][::.

I started working at SEAB and had so much fun with all those assholes working there. Serious fun! No stress at all, just plain pure fun!

Hari Raya P.H.A.T. Inc style. We were crazy, sexy, kinky, naughty, bitchy, flirty and totally HOT!!! We went to dbl0 a few nights later, just to release our stress, well to release my stress actually. Damn! I really did release my stress like nobody’s business. Practically snogging loads of different guys.

I was thankful that I went to the club.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ November ][::.

My court date came and I got fined. Truly am thankful to my parents.

I started working as a Customer Service Executive at Orient Express Lines (Singapore) Pte Ltd, a shipping company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.::][ December ][::.

Ouh ya, we join “Da Hip-Hop Affair5 2008” dance competition and we got third place. Freaking cool.

We celebrated my birthday in advanced at PLAY and I had fun but I still hate it! Get this, I am never ever stepping into that god damn bloody club! I still prefer my straight clubs. No arguments. End of story.

The rest, all went back to my house for a sleep-over.

I also celebrated my birthday with my bestie, miss her so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's all...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 !!!

PS: Totally am looking forward for 2009

secrets are meant to be secrets...

Secrets are meant to be secrets.

At times, you do share it with someone whom you personally trust.

At times, you just tell it to let go of the burden of knowing it.

At times, you just let it out accidentally.

At times, you just make it up just so to shut the other party.

At times, you just bottle it up.

Me?

I have done all of the above to different people in my life.

I don't know what is up, this time around.

It seems everyone is keeping a few secrets to themselves.

I am sort of enjoying it that we are sort of being secretive with one another.

As much as you want to be there for your friends,

and you do know that they would be there for you.

At times, i just want to be alone.

Everynow and then,

i really do miss being the geek that i was back then.

The reserved, loner guy with a book constantly.

At times, i don't like what i have become.

A more flamboyant, crazy and wild person.

At times,

I don't like to be bitchy.

I don't like to be crazy.

I don't like to be flamboyant.

I don't like to be notice.

I don't like to be wild.

I don't like to be out-going.

I don't like to be on top.

While at times,

I prefer to be reserved.

I prefer to be boring.

I prefer to be intellectual.

I prefer to be invisible.

I prefer to be a mommy's boy.

I prefer to be mature.

I prefer to be behind the scenes.

It is rather hard to find out who i truly am nowadays.

I want to be content with who i am but,

looking around me, i don't tink i can be.

I don't really give a shit about things,

but they would push it to the extreme.

I don't really care about certain shits,

as usual, they would push it to the extreme.

It's irritating at times when nobody takes you seriously,

that's why most of the time, i am never serious.

It's is so much more easier to talk to strangers.

They don't judge you until you finish your stories.

With them, it's almost as if they judge you before you even start with the story.

It's becoming too cookie-cutter like.

If you don't fit into the mould,

they would trim off the excess dough

and make fucking sure that you would fit into the mould.

They don't accept that you come in different shapes or sizes.

It is supposed to be one size fits all.

It getting more and more ridiculous to live in this world.

All i know is that i am looking forward to going back to school next year.

Going back to school,

joining a CCA,

finding a part-time job,

No Bloody Time For Bloody Dance!

COOL SHIT OR WAT???

PS: It's not up for discussions! Understood?

PHAT Inc, jalan raya & clubbing at dbl 0 pics...

Caught in the rain before getting ready to go dbl O...

Gotten ready to go dbl O!!!

The after-effect of clubbing & snogging with countless guys at dbl O!!! =p

PHAT Inc Raya Outing 2008...

The true meaning of being a true blue P.H.A.T. Inc slut.

Choa Chu Kang Photos...

From left to right:

Rafael Herzian aka Ayun

Dian Sofeana Adams aka Ifah

Nina Carina aka Neya

Syukri Barney aka Ayis

Jojo Juhari aka Jojo

Faiqah J aka Q

Tiara Isabella aka Izhan

Sarah Syakinah aka Lala

Elly Qystina aka Fadlee

Danial Asyraff aka Affyq

1st Couple: Rafeal Herzian & Nina Carina

2nd Couple: Sarah Syakinah & Elly Qystina

3rd Couple: Dian Sofeana Adams & Danial Asyraff

4th Couple: Tiara Isabella & Faiqah J

5th Couple: Jojo Juhari & Syukri Barney

Seniors & Juniors Moments!!!

At Woodlands...

At Sengkang...

just pictures...

It has been quite nice so far...

for certain people...

Certain phrases for certain people in my life right now...

"I truly am missing you right now."

"I wanna get comfy with you."

"I think I am falling for you."

"I think I understand your situation right now but I am still unsure about you at all."

"You got me questioning about your true intentions."

"I got nothing much to say to you other than to just walk away."

"It has been awhile since..."

"I need to bitch with you."

"For the love of God and everything that is pure in this world, just go and god damn fucking freaking bloody drop-dead!!!"

PS: everyone is entitle to guess which phrase is for which one of my clique.

I Want You and I Think I Might Need You!

Fasting month is fun!

Fasting month is surprisingly freaking fun and crazy for me. From day one till today, it has been crazy catch or bitching session after one another. Almost everyday we will actually meet up and just talk crap or bitch about everything. From me taking MCs to my off days, to Q not going to work at all, to izhan's taking leave and his off days. We constantly feel the urge to meet up with each other and just plan, talk crap and looking forward to seeing each other the next day.

The iftar at lagoon was a really enjoyable moment, eventhough azman brought along ayan. I am so sorry about that, ifah! Surprisingly, azman and ayan are in contact with each other and they are rather close. Bloody hell! We all look freaking good in white except for syarif whom i completely forget to tell to wear a white top. It was really nice to have all of us down there. As much as we bitch and talk behind each others' back, which eventually we will all find out about it, we really do need and love each other so much. Thank god, gaz is no longer in the picture anymore. Seriously speaking, i don't even want to be friends with that 29 year old guy at all. I am truly grateful that the six of us are bonding more and more each day. As the day passes by, we are practically making more and more friends. Sometimes it is really stressful to just keep up with how many friends you have. Everytime we meet up with Q, ifah, neya, lala and now currently, herlyn, they keep bringing more and more of their friends. The weird thing is that they can actually click with us very well and would be looking forward to meeting us again.

Like just now, the six of us just meet up again. Total impromptu meeting session. We just realise that we are really alike in so many ways. There's six of us, the Seniors, izhan, Q and me. The Juniors, ayun, ifah and affyq. Ayun and izhan are so alike in many ways, Q and ifah having almost the same personalities and me and affyq are similar in our attitudes. We were laughing our asses off imitating each other. The Seniors and the Juniors were totally attacking each other like nobody's business. We just realise that me, izhan and Q have a lot of freaking bloody trademarks. Ayun, affyq and ifah could totally imitate us to the tee. Bloody bunch of assholes! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh ya, and a lot more planning to do. We are having too many outings people! From my point of view, practically almost all our outings are like bloody important!

Anyway, tomorrow will be breaking fast at my grandma's place! I kind of feel excited about it, sort of looking forward to meeting all my cousins there eventhough i am like meeting ayun everyday.

On to another topic, work has been totally crap lately. I am totally wishing for the day for me to get fired. I have already been given a warning letter! Yes! Both me and my collegue, fydah got a freaking warning letter! We were sort of excited about it since both of us wanted to quit the job but we know that we can't do it because we will sort of have to pay the fees or whatsoever. The only way would be for us to get fired! AHAHAHA!!! From the looks of it, i have a strong feeling i am just going to work until end of september or maybe even before that. I got no more interest in working at all. All i can think of right now is to go back to school. I am so freaking bloody desperate to go back to school and just get a bloody diploma.

I can't help it but i have been thinking about you since the last time we met. I thought it was just a crush and from what i know, it was just a crush. But then, how exactly do you explain the feeling that i am having for you right now? I am truly missing you so much. It is really weird. When you said goodbye to me and actually kissed me on both of my cheeks and hugged me so tight. At that point of time, i truly don't want to let go of you for fear of losing you. But what you told me was really sweet.
You said, "Hey, I gotta go or else i'll miss my last train. Don't worry bout me so much. You take care of yourself tau."
I replied, "B, you take care of your back tau. Kalau takleh buat, jangan buat. And try to see the MO so that you can drop pes."
"OK!", you replied back.
You gave me one last tight hug and i really don't want to let you go at all. Now i know the reason why i was having butterflies in my stomach all the way from tuesday till wednesday night. At that point of time, i actually realise that i have developed feelings for you. Eventhough it's impossible between us, i just want us to be as close of a friend as possible. I am still thinking of you right now.

Missing you so much right now...

friendships being tested in august...

You don't just come back from the fucking dead and step on our heads as if you owned us. Who the fuck do you even think you fucking are? You step on my head and you pissed the shit out of me, i totally don't fucking mind. I don't see the point of spoilling everyone's mood at all. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU FUCKING THINKING WHEN YOU STEP ON MY PEEPS' HEADS???? You don't mess with my people, you can mess with me for all i fucking care. Once you mess with my friends, you are just asking for plain trouble. This time round i am so going to make it fucking personal. I don't get you at all if you were to say that i am also the same. Do not even start comparing myself to you. I know my limitations, i know it is just pure fun, i know that nothing will ever happen. Unlike you, it was just totally pure disgusting to even fucking watch it at all. For the love of god, you do not fucking touch other people's properties at all. You can touch it every now and then, but not to the extend of stealing it. You are wondering why most of the time i got nothing to say to you. It is because of your fucking attitude. Come on, I am only 22 but i am way more fucking mature that you are and you will ever be. At times i do wonder........

Karma is a fucking bitch! The bitch is back with friends!

Out of respect and love to a dear one...

I don't want to lose anyone in the group including the newbies or any of the oldies except for.............

relationships in july...

I do not wish to say it to them as i'm afraid that i might accidentally curse it. I do not know why but i actually feel awkward towards all three relationships that just happen recently. It looks as if all the relationships would turn out well but at the back of my heart and mind, there is this disturbing feeling/thought that something is totally wrong. As if this is not the way things are supposed to happen. I am actually scared of the future for them. I'll just break down on who exactly i am referring to.


There's N, my closest friend ever. She just recently got into a relationship with a guy that is totally out of her criteria. It cames as a shock actually but i am trying my best to deal with it and make the best out of it unlike some of our friends. From my point of view, i know that the relationship is going to be very interesting but i am not sure whether is it going to be in a good way or a bad way. The guy has a rather refreshing point of view on relationships. He felt that they should be in a relationship with each other first, then explore each others' personalities, habits and etc. To me, it's more like arranged marriage. From what i know, some arranged marriage do actually work out in the long run. I really hope that it would really work out. The thing is our clique is rather uncomfortable with the relationship. One of us is even hellbent on making sure that they would break up. I mean, there is just so much that we can do to help N but eventually the rest would still be up to her. Some of us still doesn't understand that she really clicks very very well with the guy. Eventhough we want to protect her from getting hurt but the thing about N, she is oblivious to heartbreaks. She is like me in a way that, we think of relationships as trial and error. There is always something new to be learn from a screw-up relationship. If it turns out bad, she will just brush it off and move on. She doesn't mope around and regret that it happens. She is actually thankful that it happened as it would make her more stronger. So on behalf of her, girls, let's all just play nice and back off from her relationship. If you guys seem unhappy about it, FUCK OFF! I know i am unhappy about it but i am as sure as hell going to fuck myself off.

Next up is S. I am not even sure whether she is in a relationship with her guy or not. It seems that as if it has not been officialise yet but it is official. Anyway, her case, she is super duper scared of getting her heart broken. Eventhough she likes her guy alot, to me it is very obvious at times, she is so uncomfortable with him. I can't really place a finger on it but the feeling is just there. Up till now, she still doesn't grasp the concept that there is supposed to be heartbreaks in every relationship. She tries so hard to make sure that the relationship would work out so that she can protect her heart from getting hurt. There is only so much you can do, the rest is all up to the other party or the situation you are in. There are times, she just seem so unsure whether this is the relationship she wants or not. If the relationship is worth it. She thinks she is strong as us, seasoned bitches, but the thing is that we are so screwed up that we know that we can survived any stupid BGR heartbreaks. To me, she is not that strong. She is so naive and gullible like a total baby that we know she can't survive brutal honesty. All i know is that she needs to have as much fun as possible in the relationship. Don't be afraid, just continue exploring.

Lastly, we have M. Her case is just so... I'm speechless. She is just so in love. Too much in love if i have to say so myself. She is the type that will constantly be texting or calling the guy, just to know his whereabouts, his health and etc. She totally wants to show him everyday how much she loves him. She wants to be with him 24/7. She is practically obsessed about him. It's almost paranoia! At least, she is trying her best to control it. The thing that i am afraid to tell it to her face is that i think this might be puppy love rather than pure love. The fuck up thing about puppy love is that it dries up faster than the Sahara Desert. At least, she is not like me. I can practically get sick and tired of my guys within minutes. The only advice i can give her is to just go with the flow. Do not think too much, the more you think, the more paranoid you will get.

I wish all the girls, all the best in their respective relationships. May everything turn out wonderful for you girls. Love ya all!

So many problems in July...

Saturday was FUN!!!

ARGH!
seriously, yesterday had to wake up early, totally make me freaking cranky! meet up with izhan at Century Square and we took a cab to Toa Payoh West CC. I almost kiss amsyar! We were doing the cheek-to-cheek thing, he was doing the same side as i am and we almost kiss! If it really happen, i can assure you that i'll drag him to the toilet and we make love on the spot! hehehe...

Anyway, the workshop started at 1pm, the warm-up choreo was really nice. It was very easy and simple steps but we can so edit it to make very sexy.

First up was Popping by nanep and wan. Nanep is like so freaking cute and hot! Popping is totally cool! The choreo was simple and it really looks nice! We got disturbed by amsyar. As usual, we were editing the steps to make it more sexy, we did not realise that amsyar was paying attention to us till he shouted at us. Even nanep & wan were teasing us up on stage.

Second was LA hip-hop by zaihar and hafiz. It was very lyrical but at the same time, it was really cool & refreshing. I love it actually. Eventhough i was trying my best to make look as sexy as possible. Yes, even hafiz was teasing us on stage.

Thirdly was Krumping by nanep. When he showed us the choreo, it looks freaking long & aggressive. When he teach us, it was rather fast actually and tiring. For krumping, there is no way for us to make it sexy at all.

Lastly was B-boying by amsyar, khai and mud. I thought it was going to be break-dancing but it was more of the foundations of break-dancing. I just suck at it! As usual, we got tease by all three guys. Us being ourselves, we can't be bothered to the floorworks, so we just kept doing the last pose. All of them saw it and laugh at us!

Overall, it was fun and worth it!

After that, meet up with ifah, Q, fatin and gaz at pasir ris for Dance Xplosion 3. It was really nice to saw lots of familiar faces, bapak, abang, hafiz, amir, haikel and etc. Overall, it was kind of nice. Freekzy Nutz was really impressive, but a bit too much stunts. F'Up used the same choreo at prelims, which is boring. Fantastic Boys were good but saw that they were tired half-way through their choreo. Flair Nation totally blew me away except for hardy. SICK was freaking cool but it was more of LA style and the judges won't understand their style. SIG was totally lame! Limited KX's was totally us but they went overboard. FIS was cool but the girls really outshine the guys.

I had fun.

Trying my best to ignore it...

Had Fun.

Last Wednesday was total fun. Eventhough it started out as pure crap. I met up with gaz first at around 4pm and just slack around with him till Q came at 5plus. The three of us waited for the rest. Ifah reached ard 6plus while afiq & ayun reached ard 7plus and ayan reached ard 8plus. We changed, did our make-up and did everything else at the void deck. It was total chaos just trying to get ready. By 8.30pm, we were done. Last minute, we decided to take the train. So we pick sha and sheyqn at pasir ris, we pick shura up at tanah merah. All of us were like practically wearing white eventhough it was more of a white and yellow affair. We were loud & crazy inside the train. We met up with azman at clarke quay mrt station. All 11 of us went to the club first to get our stamp. Izhan, jojo and ayis, as usual, were taking their own sweet time. I was fucking pissed off once we were at the cashier. We found out that girls had to pay 12 bucks. I thought it was fucking ladies' night, it was supposed to be free. The fucking website says so. To the girls, I am totally sorry that you, girls had to pay. Stupid club!

Anyway, about 15 minutes later, izhan, jojo and ayis arrived. We were just sitting around outside the club, before you know it, all of us bumped into our friends. Sha, sheyqn, me, izhan, afiq, azman, shura, Q, ayun, jojo and ayis were all separated, talking to our friends. Around 11.15pm, we went off to buy some drinks. All of us sat at Riverside Point's fountain and just started chilling and drinking. Later, lala, her sister, hilda and their friends, diana and munky arrived. About 15 minutes later, mak cha and her guy came. We were drinking, smoking our asses off, talking crap, laughing, cam-whoring, doing stupid shits and totally having fun! Around 1am, then we went back to the club. While walking back to the club, all of us bumped into some more friends, saw danial, fairuz, abang, nor, afzal, shi ting, and salim. It was nice to see them.

Inside the club was fucking packed! Smooth was totally packed like crazy! There was no space to dance at all. Everyone was pushing one another. It was like a fucking mosh! I could practically do a bloody body surf from the entrance to the exit. The songs was rather lame, everyone was just standing and looking around. All of us got separated into three groups, me, izhan, jojo, shura, azman, lala, afiq and hilda was one group, Q, ayun, ifah and ayan was another group, sheyqn, sha, ayis and gaz was together. Mak cha and her guy were still outside drinking with their friends. My group was inside the cage, we were pushing other people. Lala was cursing and swearing some freaking chinese guys. Jojo was dancing and pushing some chinese girls. Seriously, inside the cage were all chinese except for us. It was as if, malays are not allowed inside the cage at all. Before we know it, all of us were practically trying to get out from that horrible place.

We sat outside the club complaining and cursing the place. Sha lost his wallet. I felt so sorry for him. Around 2.30am, sha and sheqyn went back home first. The ones that were still there was me, izhan, Q, ayun, ifah, ayan, gaz, afiq, ayis, jojo, mak cha and mamal. We just sat outside complaining about everything that just happened. It was one of the worst clubbing outing we ever had. It was so fucked up! Around 3am, we decided to go back in and dance at Retro.

Retro was freaking fun! It was a total blast! Me, Q, izhan, ayun, ifah, ayan, gaz, afiq, ayis, jojo, azman, shura, mak cha & mamal were practically dancing our asses off. We were singing to all the songs, eventhough half the time we don't even know the lyrics at all. We were doing simple stupid steps, screaming at the top of our lungs and jumping up and down. It was really crazy! It's just a bloody feel-good place. It was totally freaking cool. Around 4am, ifah, ayan and afiq went off. I was still dancing my ass off alone while the rest were just sitting down at looking around. I had so much fun! Around 4.45am, we went off from the club and slack at the nearby bridge till 5.45am. After that, all of us went our separate ways. Izhan, ayis and jojo went back together, me, gaz, ayun and Q went back together, mak cha and mamal took the bus, azman went back with his friends, same goes for shura and we have no idea what happened to lala & her sister, hilda.

Oh ya, in the train, bumped into my boify, azeer! Seriously, i totally had the urge to scream and just hug him but it was morning and everyone in the train was fast asleep. I miss him so much! We reached tampines around 7am, went to wash our faces at the toilet and bought breakfast at Macdonald's. Q was totally complaining about her heels, in the end, we took the cab back to her house. We collected our bags, met up with fatin and slacked at Q's void deck till 8am. Overall, I had crazy fun! I truly enjoyed myself.

Reached home, I fell asleep around 8.30am & woke up at 11.30am. I only sleep for 3 bloody hours. Surprisingly, i was okay but still felt tired. Around 6pm, went down to my void deck to met up with fid. I had to help him wrap the present for linda. We were just sitting and talking, well, he was talking, i was listening. He was telling me about his problems and all that crap that comes along with him. As usual, me being the bitch that i am, i only listened to about 75 percent of what comes out from his mouth. I such a bitch! Around 8pm, i went off and he went to meet his friends. Before we separated, i asked him for amir's no. Surprisingly, he gave me the number with a warning as well. He said that i can only be friends with amir. I was like giving him a 'whatever' look and told him that he got linda, me & him, we got nothing on. He said that he and linda got nothing on yet, so he is still together with me. Once he is with linda, then i can be with amir. Ahahahaha!!! He is such a jackass but he is still my jackass and i love him!

On to a different topic. I am not so sure whether i should tell you what i know or should i just keep quiet and tell you when the time is right. That seems to be the problem, when will i know when is the right time to tell you. It is a horrible piece of news but knowing you fully well, i really think you should experience it first. I have a strong feeling that even if i tell you, you will ignore it and pretend as if nothing happens. I know we are not that close but i love and care for you. I guess i should just keep quiet first and see what happens. I really hope that you will discover the truth yourself and move on because i know you can find someone better and deserve someone better. Just hoping that everything would turn on just nice for you.

Why must i know you?

An Impromptu Date Again...

I Had Freaking Fun Today.

First Up, I Went To Town All Alone Today. I Had An Appointment With The Job Agency. It Was A Rather Fast One And Mabel Was Like Super Nice And Sweet. Ahahaha. After That, Met Up With Izhan At Clarke Quay To Have Our So-Called Late Lunch. Izhan Had To Go Off Later.

Thank God, He Text Me, Asking To Meet Up For Dinner. I Know That He Told Me That He Was Going To Make It Up To Me For Not Contacting Me The Past Few Days, But I Did Not Expect It To Be That Fast. It Was Really Nice. Waited For Him At City Hall Mrt Station Since His Bike Is At The Workshop. We Went To Suntec City And Marina Square. Just Walking Around And He Bought Me A Pair Of Jeans! Hehehe. So Sweet Of Him! Then, We Had Dinner At "New York! New York!". Totally Love It Eating There.

Later We Drop By Kinokuniya At Bugis, Since We Don't Even Know Where Else To Go To. I Actually Wanted To Pay For The Book Myself, He Insisted On Paying For Me. I Don't Know Why, But I Do Kind Of Feel Guilty For Letting Him Pay For Everything. Oh Ya, I Do Feel Uncomfortable Smoking Around Him, Since He No Longer Smokes Anymore. While I Was Smoking, He Sort Of Lectures Me About The Harmful Effects Of Smoking And All Those Craps. He Is Such A Jackass But He Is Still My Jackass!

After That, We Went Home. He Totally Wanted To Take The Train And Stop At Tampines So That He Can Send Me Home. We Practically Quarrelled Like A Childish Kids In The Train. I Told Him That He Doesn't Need To Send Me Off, Since He Totally Looked Freaking Tired. I Really Pity Him. In The End, We Drop Off At Tampines And He Took The Bus Home. The Fuck Up Thing Is That He Still Don't Want To Give Me A God Damn Fucking Bloody Freaking Hug! ARGH!!!

By The Way, I Am Still Confused As To What Is Actually Going On Between Us. Hahaha. I Really Do Hope That It Would Go Somewhere.

Wondering When All Hell Would Break Lose? Can't Take It Anymore.

Last Performance.

Last Night Was Officially P.H.A.T. Inc's Last Performance. We Are Officially Retiring From The Dance World. Don't Be Surprised If You Happen To See Us Performing With Other Crews. Let's Just Say That I'm Not So Sure About Me Retiring Fully. One Thing Which Is Confirmed Is That P.H.A.T. Inc Has Officially Broken Up But If There Is Any New Crew That Is Going To Use The Word "PHAT" In Their Crew Name. There Would Be Trouble, Physical Trouble. It's Just A Simple Warning!

Lastly, I Would Like To Say Thank You Very Much To Everyone Who Have Been Involved With P.H.A.T. Inc Since The Very Beginning.
A Shout Out To Wanie, Izhan, Azlan, Mars, Alicia, Shida, Nick, Nazron, Ifah, Nurul, Sara, Zirah, Q, Aishah, Neya, Fadz, Amir, Akid, Daniel, Shazlyn & Many More People.
To the Dancers Who Collaborated With Us, Ayis, Jojo, Gee, Cheryl, Tini, Sep, Aty, Shada, Fie. Thanks Alot For The Experience.
To P.H.A.T. Inc's Groupies, Kak Gaz, Mimi, Sheyqn, Regina, Mak Cha, Shikin, Abg Aidil, Ez, Bob, Nazam, Yan, Abg Fazli, Irah And Countless More People. Thank You Very Very Much For Your Cheers, Screams & Crazy Ways Of Supporting Us.
To The Other Dance Crews That P.H.A.T Inc Have Respect For, Such As SFB, LUSH, Freekzy Nutz, Lil' Nutz, Flair Nation, KarmaSutra, FIS, Groove Hotnesz, X's Funk, Six Feet Rebels, Fantastic Crew & Many More Upcoming Crews. Continue To Rock The Stage And Bring The House Down!!!

It Was Fun While It Lasted.

crush...

i think i'm having a crush!
ahahahaha...
He is kinda of geeky cute ah...
not exactly my type...
but he is freaking talkative...
hehehe...
ouh ya,
& he works at PUMA at Tampines Mall...
i dunno y...
but i kinda of feel like i wanna make frenz wit him...
hehehe...

pack weekend...

haiz...
still feeling tired over last long weekend...

wednesdae...
celebrated nadia's bdae at changi beach...
wit cousins & uncles & aunts...
had fun...

thursdae...
went to rumah wanie...
help izhan wit the decorations for wanie's room...
aft tat slack wit Q & izhan ajer...

fridae...
went for wanie's engagement...
stayed there the whole dae...
ate lots of food...
the chocolate brownie was to die for!!!
YUMMY!!!

saturdae...
went out wit the rest to celebrate ifah's bdae...
ate at Billy Bombers...
slack at arab st for shee-sha ing...
den watch movies at Cathay Cineplex...
watched "AH LONG PTE LTD"...
it was ok ah...
it was funny...
but kinda of lame too...
rch hm at 4.30am...

sundae...
werk...
aft shift...
freaking tired lah...
haiz...

HAPPIE 2008!!!

yesterdae's countdwn was lots of fun...
saw lots of pple tat i missed...
it was a total blast!!!
we got 4th place...
WE RAWKZ!!!
hehehehe...
took tons of pics...
pics wit ifah & fadz...
will upload sn...

hmmm...
kinda of got sum new yr's resolution...
but...
dunt tink i m gonna type it out ah...
mayb next entry or sumting...