Stupid

I feel stupid.

If there is one thing that I strongly dislike is the feeling of being stupid. Once I feel stupid, I will start going down a slippery slope of feeling helplessness and a strong inclination to do something that I will regret.

So I have been in contact with you for the past couple of months. Every thing was going on fine. We were getting to know each other, texting on a regular basis. 

We were supposed to meet up for dinner but you got called up for a business trip. We had to reschedule. Then a couple of weeks later when you were back from the trip, we decided to meet up for fun but I had to fall sick. We had to reschedule again. The following week, we decided to meet up for fun again but you had to fall sick. We had to reschedule again.

Then this week, you randomly brought up if I was up for a threesome. 

And it just feels fuck-up that you decided to make the decision for me by making it seem that I should be down for a threesome or we just reschedule again. And that just makes me feel stupid, we have been contacting each other for several weeks and I thought that we had a connection but it's obvious that you're only interested for a quick fuck.

It makes me feel stupid for having slight feelings for you.

I don't like feeling stupid.