.::][ P.H.A.T. Inc Makeover Session ][::.
.::][ Fadly ][::.
.::][ Nazron ][::.
.::][ Evefar ][::.
.::][ Affyq ][::.
.::][ Que ][::.
.::][ Izhan ][::.
.::][ Emilia ][::.
.::][ Netty ][::.
.::][ Nurul ][::.
.::][ Dolce & Gabbana ][::.
.::][ WHAT??? ][::.
.::][ Ghetto Chic ][::.
Well, what a week this has been. One hell of a hectic week. I am just tyring my best to relax and not think. Just trying to zone out my mind from everything. So much drama. From work to social to personal, I'm getting too emotionally and mentally drained out.
Work has been rather pressurized lately. Just trying to keep up with the pace and trying my best to understand things. I screw up loads of things lately that I just feel like breaking down and cry. Well, I did that already actually. I know that I am slowly loving this job in some weird dimensional delusional black hole kind of way. There are just so many things to learn and explore that I am looking forward for. I know that I can cope with this job and it's no longer just for the fun of it but it's for my own sake and sanity. Yes, my sanity. Do not even bother asking me to elaborate. The thing is that I really need something that is super duper stable in my life badly. Something to hold me down and be the focal point of my gravity in life. And I think the answer is my job. I really need it badly for my sake and for certain people in my life.
My social life, well it is not excellent but it is rather going quite nicely, I think. The thing about honesty, it is a two-way katana. It can make two strangers be the best of friends or the worst of enemies. On the other hand, from my personal point of view, it can make strangers be the most deserving Oscar winner ever. At times, it's just better to lie straight to the face rather than confront and go through all the drama and crap. Honesty is becoming a rare trait in the human form. I am not saying that I am honest person but at times, I just wish that I can be honest about stuffs with no regards to the consequences. At times, I'm not sure if I am maturing or I'm just being plain analytical. It can be quite tiring to get paranoid at the same thing and try to dissect it from every possible angle. I can't force people to be the same, everyone changes as they grow older. They can be more mature, more idiotic, more annoying, more intelligent, more egoistic, more self-centered, more generous, it practically countless. All I can do is to adapt to their changes.
I seriously am missing him so much. I have no idea if we are in a relationship or what-so-ever. We practically text each other everyday without fail, chat on msn most of the time, call each other every now and then but rarely meet up with one another. Don't get me wrong, I love being in a so-called relationship with him. But me, being the pampered, spoilt and annoying me is asking for more. I understand our situation completely. He's working, I'm working. He stays in the west side while I'm in the east side. We practically concentrate on our careers, family and friends first before each other. I just can't help myself but wanting more from him eventhough I know that this is the best that he can offer me so far. I really miss his smell, miss staring at him while he snores so peacefully, miss playing with his lips, nose and ears while he's asleep, miss cuddling with him and feeling his warmness, miss kissing him and playing with his bar-bell, miss him biting my bottom lip, miss his sarcasism towards me, miss holding his hand and squeezing mine, miss his interesting and intellectual conversion towards life. I FUCKING MISS HIM! But the weird thing is that.................................
Anyway, thanks for yesterday love ones! Thanks to nazron, ifah, affyq, Q, izhan, emilia, netty, nurul and qam. It's been awhile since I had loads of fun. =p
PS: I think I need him...
