Basically November is a bad month for me. I desperately want it to end.
Right now, it's just me and my manager juggling the workload of 4 people. And my manager's mom had a bad fall that required surgery a couple weeks ago, so on top of taking care of her newborn baby, she also has to take care of her mom. For the past few weeks she has been taking 2 days' leave each week to take care of her baby and her mom. So on those days, I have to follow up with whatever that she ask of me, while juggling my other workloads. I was mentally drained out and stretched.
Then I had my end-of-year appraisal with my Director. A standard C grade means that you are doing your job, nothing more, nothing less. And my Director gave me a C grade, considering that both my manager and I are juggling the jobs of 4 people between the two of us. Both of us got a C grade even after what we have been doing the past 3 months. Like we will be juggling this workload until the new staff comes in February. That's 4 people's workload for 2 people for a total of 5 months and we are still getting a standard C grade. It just feels so frustrating when you are not being recognized for your hard work.
So when something good happened to me, it was nice to be distracted and getting attention from someone after all these while. Instead shit happened to me again. I got scammed. I want to write it down but at the same time, I feel so embarrassed that I allowed this situation to happened. I feel embarrassed, disappointed and stupid that I let my emotions get the best out of me. I didn't expect this out of myself and 1 week later, I am still emotionally affected by it. I feel that I should type it down but the thought of it, just to read it all over again scares me. I made a police report about it but I'm not hoping for much, don't think that I will get my money back. Part of me is still in denial that something like this happened to me.
While this whole shit show was happening to me, my MacBook decided to give me a problem by constantly freezing up and restarting all over again. On a good day, I could use it for 2-3 hours before it will froze up and restart several times and then i just shut it down. And it has been happening for the almost 2 weeks that I only use it on weekends. Hoping like crazy that it doesn't act up.
I lost my money. I can't afford to buy a new laptop. And also had to cancelled my birthday solo staycation.
On Monday, I fell sick. I'm down with flu. I did my ART in the morning and it was negative. Then an hour later, I started to sneeze and it got worst so I decided to go to the doctor. The doctor did my ART and the result was negative. On Tuesday, I got the result from my PCR and I'm COVID positive. So here I am right now in Festive Hotel, Sentosa, sharing a room with a random covid patient. I will be quarantined here until next Thursday, 2nd Dec. I got enough things to do to keep myself distracted.
I just want November to end. I'm still emotionally unstable and I can feel myself losing grip.
In Shaa' Allah, I will be okay.
PS: Someone reminded me that the reason I fell sick is Allah's way of showing that He wants to help me get rid of my sins. Thank you & bless you for reminding me.
