35 things I'm proud of in my 35 years of living in this world.
35. I have watched a ballet, an opera & a classical concert before - there's something elitist about it but at the same time, I feel that it is really elegant, graceful and beautiful, and i really feel that I should go watch new shows but sadly, I don't have any close friends who are interested in it and I'm not that confident to watch it alone yet. The first time I watched all of them was with my ex-NAFA classmates as part of our assignments.
34. I was a dancer, became part of a dance group & we got 3rd place for a dance competition once - I honestly missed dancing. There's something about learning and memorizing dance moves and performing it on stage to an audience. I truly miss that adrenaline rush.
33. I have dated a Malay, a Chinese, an Indian, an Eurasian, an Indonesian, a Norwegian, an American, a British, an Australian, a French, a German & an African-American - you know I know what I'm talking about and we shall leave it at that.
32. My collection of almost 200 books & comics - and I still have another 70 over titles on my list that I would love to buy but I know that I got no more space in my house.
31. I posted 6 fan-fiction stories online & 1 of them has more than 43,000 hits - which I posted back in 2016 and that is impressive to me but I have stopped writing fan-fictions, now that I am obsessed with colouring and drawing patterns, we shall see if I have the creativity to write another fan-fiction in the future. Anyway, the link is here if you want to read it.
30. I got involved as a "wedding coordinator" in 9 of my families & friends' weddings - honestly, when one of my cousins' asked me to help out, it just came naturally, then I instinctively know what to expect and what to do even though I got really annoyed when I'm dealing with the parents but it was all good fun and completely worth it when the bride & groom are happy at the end of the day.
29. I learn basic French but I think it has went down the drain and I need to start learning it again - it really sucks when you don't have someone to practice it with you because I really feel that's one of the best way to learn a language, to have someone to converse it with you.
28. I accidentally discovered the Boys' Love genre - I'm obsessed with it. Keeping up with my Korean, Japanese, Chinese and Thai BL tv series. I can write a whole damn post just about my obsession with BL shows and how oddly enough it gives me hope even though it's just a fantasy.
27. I am earning good enough that I can afford the things that I need and sometimes things that I want and buy them without thinking.
26. I am proud that I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone bit by bit - If you were to tell me this is where I am right now, back in 2011. I would not have believe you because I am an introvert that craves comfort and familiarity more than anything else. But these past few years - traveling overseas alone, working 2 jobs at once, working out, taking on more responsibilities at work, making the effort to keep my mental and emotional health in check, I'm proud that I'm taking small steps.
25. I am proud of my work ethics and am actually surprised at my capabilities - Honestly, I thought I will fuck up with all the workload piling up on me and my manager. The 2 of us are doing 4 people's workload, even though we are slightly struggling but I realize that it forces me to prioritize things and to keep on moving. It's fuck up but I need to do it just to get emplace into the company. I just have to endure until 23rd January.
24. My interest in other languages tv series & movies - I'm just confuse with myself. I beginning to get bored with English tv series, so I'm watching Chinese, Taiwanese, Thai, Japanese, Indonesian, Mexican & several European & Eastern-European TV shows and movies. It's a miracle that I have not butchered my English yet.
23. I am proud of my siblings and cousins - I consider myself to be on okay terms with my siblings and cousins, I won't say that I'm super close to them but seeing as we all grew up together, from where we started to where we are now like, I am really fucking proud of them, proud of us. The shits and things that most of us have done, I am honestly proud that none of us fall off the tracks.
22. I started going for yoga classes every Wednesday - For the past 3 and a half months, and no, I still can't touch my toes while straightening out my legs but damn, it feels good and relaxing to stretch the shit out of yourself.
21. I started working out 3 times a week at the gym - I am going to keep maintaining this for the next 1 year. I need this to be a habit because honestly, it helps me with my mental and emotional stability.
20. I lost 4.5kg in 2 months, that's a good start to reaching my ideal weight - I was 75.3kg and now, I'm at 70.8kg so another 5 more kg to go then I shall see if I'm happy with myself at 65kg, if I'm not, I will just lose more weight. We shall see how or what I'm thinking later on.
19. I have been at my current job for more than 4 years - longest full-time job ever, I'm proud that I am able to stay this long, hopefully longer.
18. I have worked for F1 for 7 years, 2013 till 2019 - One of the best things that has ever happened to me. I've met and worked with so many beautiful souls because of F1. I really want to work with them again. Working for F1 for a week, once a year just brightens up my entire year. I used up my leave to work for F1 just to meet all the regular faces back then.
17. I went to Paris alone for 10 days, my first overseas solo trip - I did get lost a couple of time but other than that, I'm fucking proud of myself for surviving overseas alone and stepping out of my comfort zone. I really want to go Paris again. I want to travel overseas alone again.
16. My 10 years of friendship - Nadia, Olivia, Lim Hui - I am truly grateful for them, in some weird way, they help me to move forward and achieve more in life. I'm proud of the fact that even though we rarely meet up with each other but when we do, everything just falls into place. It feels easy and right being friends with them.
15. My 15 years of friendship - Azieera, Syima, Netty & Ayun - I am so grateful for them and proud of myself that I made and am still making the effort to keep them in my life when I know how easily I cut people out. No amount of words can explain how grateful I am for them.
14. I am happy that I started to be more focus on my arts - It is more of me just constantly drawing and colouring patterns to keep my mind in check. Improving my skills is a secondary thing for me. It comforts me to do it. Visit my instagram if you like.
13. I volunteered for NAFA Freshmen Week, 2012 till 2014 and NAFA Open House, 2013 till 2016.
12. I got selected to go to Japan for 2 weeks for an exchange programme during my final-year of my Diploma.
11. I got voted to be the Vice-President of the Student Leaders in 2012 - which was a surprise to me considering that I really didn't think that I was one of the popular kids for it.
10. I graduated with a Diploma in Arts Management, Performing Arts at 28 years old - I felt old but I'm proud that I actually completed it.
09. I got a scholarship for my 2nd year of my Diploma.
08. I paid for my Diploma - only 2 years of it, which is $8,000.
07. I got into Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts.
06. I paid for my Degree, all $16,000 of it by myself.
05. I graduated with an Upper 2nd Class Honours in Creative Industry Management - I am still pissed off that I got an overall grading of 69.5 out of 100 and to get a 1st Class Honours, I just need to score a 70. Bloody arses.
04. I have not gone all-out picking a fight or kill someone yet - At times I feel that it's a miracle that I have not fucking fight or kill the numerous idiots surrounding me. I am impressed by my patience even though I cursed them behind their backs. I'm proud that I'm behaving like an adult for the sake of the final product or results. But I really hope that they get knocked down by a car and the same car will accidentally reverse back into them.
03. I have completed reading the Quran twice - I should make it my New Year resolution to complete finish reading it again. In Shaa' Allah.
02. I only had 4 breakdowns this year - 3 at home & 1 in the office. I think it's my lowest number of breakdowns so far in the past few years. I think I'm getting better in a way that I can control my emotions but at the same time, I'm scared that one fine day, it will come pouring out and I can't stop myself. I almost had a breakdown, a few days ago but I was able to distract myself so it wasn't that bad. Now I feel like having another one as I'm typing this down. I'm tired. I'm just tired.
01. I have not cut myself in the past 3 years, just to feel something - I have reached the stage in my life when I'm not suicidal but I still have suicidal thoughts. I guess it's more of if I happened to get into an accident, I guess I won't fight for my life, I would just let it be. It is a huge sin to commit suicide, I guess in a way, I am technically not committing suicide if I just give up if I got involved into a huge accident, right?
