Define friendship.

In your own words, your own personal point of perspective of it.

Because I for one, would seriously really like to know your take on the meaning of the word, "friendship".

And I, at long last, have officially learn the art of giving up. I found a picture in tumblr, it states; "Sometimes, when people decide to leave you for good, you have to let them. No matter how much you don't want them to. There are some things that are far beyond our control. Even if you have the strength to fight for them, you have to accept the cold harsh truth ~ The people that you can't live without, can live without you."

Then I realise that all this while, I have been holding on to you, refusing to let you go but slowly slipping away from your grip. Today is the day that I realise that I have to let you go, I have to release my grip and just let you walk away completely from my life. No point at all forcing you to be friends with me when you don't think I'm worthy of your friendship at all right? Somebody once told me that we can't change the family that we are born into but we can definitely pick and choose our friends to be the family that we wished for. It's just my luck that I did not make it to the final round to be your friends.

So this is me saying my goodbyes to you. My honest thoughts. Nothing to hold me back. Minus the vulgarities. I was pissed off that you ditched me for a unworthy dick. I was even more pissed off that you loose your virginity to that lame-ass dick. I was effing pissed off that you make a 360 degrees change for that piece of dickhead. Then I realise that you are not doing it to me alone. You are doing it to the rest of your friends as well, I know you're going to deny it or what-so-ever. That is your opinion entirely and since this is my blog, just let me have my say. You were among the first people to hate him and her. Look at you now, you came running back to them. Well, have fun now. I honestly know that I will never be part of your life anytime soon or in the future at all. At least, I have the decency to say a final goodbye. Thank you for walking into my life for 4 years and then leaving me just like that. I appreciate all the good times and the bad times we had together. Our stupid political conversations and other random impromptu shits. Thank you very much for allowing me to be your friend even if it's just for awhile. As an ex-friend, I truly wish you all the best in life and may you and him be happy together. May you find the peace and balance that you were always longing for. Goodbye love.

And also, goodbye to you as well. Even though I know you for less that 2 years but still thank you very much for being a friend to me. Yours was a clear cut scenario of running away from me. So much for needing time to recuperate, stop coming up with lies just to cover your tracks. Let's just be honest with each other, no point beating around the bushes anymore. I mean, you actually go the extra mile just to avoid bumping into me. So, this is me telling you that you got nothing to worry anymore. If you ever bump into me outside, you can ignore me for all I care. You can even act as if you don't know me at all. You don't even have to acknowledge me. For all I can tell right now, you no longer treat me as one of your friend at all. It seems I am not worthy to be your friends. I don't mind, not one bit at all. This is me thanking you for being there for me, for allowing me to be your friend in the past. So thank you & goodbye love.

Just for the fun of it. Accept the fact that you're not part of the family and please walk away with your head held up high. Don't dissed me or my friends. That's just plain low of you. Just leave things the way they are. As much as you think that you desperately need your closure, Ihonestly think that you're not ever going to get it.

This is where I am in my life. I am not goint to hold grudges or what-nots, I am just going to let things happen. I would just be grateful that you walk into my life. I'll cherish the moments we will spend together. You are more than welcome to make friends with me. Be close friends with me. Then leave me behind when you found a so-called "better" friend. By all means, just do it.

Here's my "Thank you" & my "Good-bye", just in case I didn't get to say it to you personally.





PS: Trying to uncomplicate things.

Someone asked me if I was dating you.


I laughed to myself.


How I desperately wished I was.


Alas, reality is way harsher than fantasy. I have come to terms with reality, my reality. It's just that I'm having issues with my fantasy or more likely, with my subconscious. It's not funny at all when you're the first thing that comes to my mind when I wake up in the morning. And you also happen to be the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep at night. And you want to know what's even more screw up, I've been having 5 dreams about you throughout the month of March. Desperation is so not a pretty sight. I am honestly trying my best down here to suppress any feelings that I have for you. You have no idea how desperate I am to see you to get hook-up with someone else so that it will force me to move on with my life. It's a fact, no matter how much I want it, me and you would never happen. I'm just not your type. I'm just a friend to you, nothing more and nothing less.


Furthermore, my perspective on love and relationship is way different than yours. To me, my family comes first, follow by my friends, then my career and lastly, my partner. To be truthful, depending on what career I have. From what I know about you, you are the clingy type, so I'm not sure as to how it will go about. For me, I know that I'm ready for a relationship where you don't have to be there for each other physically but rather emotionally. Strangely, it sounds more like a long distance relationship. I know it's weird but that's what I look for in a relationship. As much as I want you to be the one for me and vice versa, but honestly, what's the point of forcing something right?


Someone once told me that his definition of love was to love someone regardless of the person's feelings for him. He would love her no matter what. He would always make her smile. He would always be there for her. He would always keep her safe. He would always try his best to provide for her. He would always listen to her every whim. He would always cherish every moment spend with her. Even though if she doesn't love him at all.


I am this close to becoming that for your sake but decidedly know that I don't have that much strength to do it. I am getting more and more irritated with myself for getting into this mess. Nothing new, I always fall in love with the guys that I know I can never get. Furthermore, it's not like you read my blog at all.

PS: my body is aching...