Recap

I'm grateful for 2023.

Finance - I was quite stable though my savings went out the window. I was able to travel - I went to Ho Chi Minh City, Phnom Penh, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur and Bali. That's a first in my life, traveling to 5 different countries in 1 year. My iPhone, MacBook and AirPods decided to crash one by one - so I had to replace them one by one. And that's where all my money went to. Honestly, I need to plan my finances properly. Even though I do have spare cash but it's not enough for me to fall back on for emergencies.

Travel - I was blessed to be able to go to 5 countries this year. I did a 2 weeks trip to Ho Chin Minh City, Phnom Penh, Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur. Completely exhausted but it was totally worth it. I can't believe that I was on 5 flights within 2 weeks, physically demanding. Then for my birthday, I went to Bali and honestly, I didn't like it much. I'm quite proud of myself that I was able to visit 5 countries for 2023. For 2024, I need to go to Tokyo - it's a need. After 10 years, it's time for me to go and explore Tokyo alone. And maybe celebrate my birthday in Bangkok. From all the TikTok videos I've seen, Bangkok looks fun in December.

Career - I lost interest in my job at start of the year. I have been applying for jobs since January 2023 and I think I have applied for around 100 jobs. Though this time round, I can see the difference in the job market or maybe it's just my resume. I remembered after graduation, I applied for almost 800 jobs and only gotten response/rejection from less than 50 of them, with no replies from the rest. Now, I actually got replies/rejections from about 50-60 of them. I went on job interviews with 4 companies - 2 government agency and 2 private companies. I got a new job which I am quite excited about and it is in the direction that I'm looking to further explore. I'll be starting my new job in February 2024.

Arts - now that I have completed my 33 BL couples drawings, I'm trying to think of a new theme to start but so far, I got nothing. I'm considering of doing "fonts" but I'm not feeling it yet. I already did 99 male portraits and 99 random patterns. All 3 themes, I was quite excited to start them and felt motivated to complete them. So for the next theme, I'm just waiting for the same feeling to come to me before I stick to it. Let's hope I get inspired soon.

Birthday - I went on a solo birthday trip to Bali. I guess it was on impulse since I booked the ticket and the hotel while I was on my vacation in September. And part of me regretted it because it wasn't my type of vacation. I am a 100% city person type and the trip made me realise that I am not really not a beach/nature holiday type of person. I love trips that mentally stimulate me rather than trips that physically exhaust me. Though I will consider going to Bali again with friends but not solo. And it also doesn't help that I was sick for 3 days out of the 4 days I was there. Oh well, time to start planning my next solo trip.

I just need to make sure that 2024 will be better than 2023. I need to start thinking of my monthly goals for 2024, nothing grand but at least I have monthly targets to look forward to and to keep myself on track.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be alright.

Grateful

I got the job. Alhamdulillah. 

I will be working as "Internal Operations Associate" for a German MNC, which has 4 offices worldwide - main office in Hamburg, Germany and 3 other offices in Singapore, Netherlands and USA. My job is pretty much taking care of the Singapore office, a little bit of HR work and a little bit of compliance work.

A huge increment from my current monthly salary and 22 days of leave, plus other benefits. I'm giving myself a minimum of 5 years to work in this company. I can do it.

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I got my annual bonus. Alhamdulillah.

Paid all my bills and all that is left is for my solo Bali trip. And also to tender my resignation at the start of the year. Informed HR and didn't realized that trying to quit my job, it will be a complicated process. 6 years working as a civil servant, it's time for me to move on or else I will get stuck there for the rest of my life with no sense of motivation.

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In Shaa' Allah, everything will be fine.

Hopeful

I went for another job interview.

It went quite well. I was interviewed by the CEO and the HR Manager of the Singapore Branch. And we spent almost 1 and half hours together. 

That's the thing that I like when you go for an interview with an international company rather than a local or government company. 

I have been on 2 interviews this year with 1 local company and 1 government company - their interview processes are so clinical and systematic. They will asked standardise questions that have been ingrained into our Singapore culture. And obviously, there is a model answer that they expect out of you but knowing me, those model answers just go out the window. To be honest, I have noticed that I will have a lot of pauses, trying to structure my words properly. I will have to provide a politically correct answer. And both interviews lasted less than 40 minutes.

I have also been on 2 interviews with international company. And both interviews felt more of a conversation rather than interviews. There was a certain relaxing flow to the entire process. The first company, I was interviewed by the Country Manager and the HR Manager, which lasted almost 2 hours. Truth be told, it was a very refreshing interview as it was more of a sharing session/discussion rather than an interview. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I didn't get the job and the Country Manager was nice enough to call me to apologise for the error on their end. This recent interview that I had, it was the same easy atmosphere, I was nervous at first but seeing the laid-back nature of both the interviewers, made me relax as well. It was very casual and nice.

Anyway, I got called up for the 2nd interview. And apparently it will be with the Chief Financial Officer and Head of Compliance from the main office in Germany, along with the CEO and HR Manager of the Singapore Office. The CFO and the Head will be in Singapore for a business trip, so they squeezed me in for the final interview with them. I am feeling rather confused as I don't think that the position that I am applying for, warrants their attention.

Oh well, we shall see.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be alright.

Solo Trip

Ho Chi Minh City, Phnom Penh, Bangkok & Kuala Lumpur

17th - 30th September 2023

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

17th - 20th September 2023

17th September 2023, Sunday

Tan Son Nhat International Airport

Fusion Suites Saigon Hotel

18th September 2023, Monday

Ho Chi Minh City Museum of Fine Arts

The Cafe Apartments

Jamia Al-Musulman Mosque

Sai Gon Central Post Office

Ho Chi Minh City Book Street

Cool Spa

19th September 2023, Tuesday

Tao Dan Park

Independence Palace

Photoshoot around Ho Chi Minh City

Bitexco Financial Tower - Saigon Skydeck

20th September 2023, Wednesday

Fusion Suites Saigon Hotel

Tan Son Nhat International Airport

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

20th - 23rd September 2023

20th September 2023, Wednesday

Phnom Penh International Airport

Courtyard by Marriott Phnom Penh

Al-Serkal Mosque

21st September 2023, Thursday

AEON Mall

Kinokuniya

Bophana Center

22nd September 2023, Friday

National Museum of Cambodia

Royal Palace, Phnom Penh

Sisowath Quay

23rd September 2023, Saturday

Courtyard by Marriott Phnom Penh

Phnom Penh International Airport

Bangkok, Thailand

23rd - 27th September 2023

23rd September 2023, Saturday

Suvarnabhumi International Airport

Banyan Tree Bangkok

24th September 2023, Sunday

WellMed Bangkok Clinic

Central World - Kinokuniya

Central World - The World of Studio Ghibli Exhibition

Central World - SF Cinema (Man Suang)

Senso Men's Club

25th September 2023, Monday

Bangkok Mosque

CPM Capitol - Photoshoot

GMM Grammy Place Building

26th September 2023, Tuesday

ICONSIAM

ICONSIAM - Monet & Friends Alive Exhibition

Bangkok Art & Culture Centre

MBK Centre

27th September 2023, Wednesday

Banyan Tree Bangkok

Suvarnabhumi International Airport

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

27th - 30th September 2023

27th September 2023, Wednesday

Kuala Lumpur International Airport

Le Meridien Kuala Lumpur

28th September 2023, Thursday

REXKL

KLCC - Kinokuniya

Twin Tower

Asy-Syakirin Mosque

29th September 2023, Friday

Islamic Arts Museum Malaysia

Central Market Pasar Seni

Aromann

30th September 2023, Saturday

Le Meridien Kuala Lumpur

Kuala Lumpur International Airport

It was a great trip, though tiring but totally worth it.

Alhamdulillah.

Trying

I am loving my schedule for the rest of the year. 

I'm just trying to think positive. I'm trying to be okay with the fact that job-hunting is hard but at the same time, I'm going to prioritise my holidays and social life over the obsession of looking for jobs. I'm trying not to get affected that I have applied for more than 60 jobs since the start of the year and only had 2 interviews, and about 12 rejections, with no response from the rest of the applications. I forgot how emotionally unstable I was 6 years ago when I was job-hunting. I will be okay.

September 2023

• 1 September, Friday - Elections Day
• 15 September, Friday - Meeting the F1 Boys
• 16 September, Saturday - Aaranlias & Jeslin Wedding
• 17-20 September, Sunday-Wednesday - Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
• 20-23 September, Wednesday-Saturday - Phnom Penh, Cambodia
• 23-27 September, Saturday-Wednesday - Bangkok, Thailand
• 27-30 September,Wednesday-Saturday - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

October 2023

• 13 October, Friday - TWG Dinner

November 2023

• 12 November, Sunday - Pimm's Birthday Dinner
• 13 November, Monday - Deepavali Off-In-Lieu
• 18 November, Saturday - Papa & Putri's Birthday Dinner

December 2023

• 10 December, Sunday - Nadia's Wedding
• 13-16 December, Wednesday-Saturday - Bali, Indonesia
• 25 December, Monday - Christmas

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be fine.

Good Thing?

So recently, there was the annual Workplan & Budget submission.

As my division got reorganise and is one of the 2 divisions that has a Senior Director (SD) to answer to, our protocol had to be revised. Thus my new protocol is now - to check in with my Deputy Director (DD), followed by checking in with my Director (D), then it will be the Senior Director before the final approval by the Deputy Chief Executive.

I am one of the few people that are currently assigned to work under both divisions thus my reporting procedure is a tad confusing. But because of this, I am able to take initiative to raise certain things, though it's uncalled for but at least, the "powers-that-be" are noticing me. Rather that previously just relying on 1 Director's opinion, now I am able to showcase my work to 1 DD, 2 Ds and 1 SD. Even though the portfolios are hand-me-downs but at least, I am able to show that I am able to maintain these portfolios and also try to improve them, in a way.

Thus, during the workplan discussion, I was able to bypass my 2 Senior Managers (SM) and immediately proposed to my DD on certain programmes. Previously, I did raised it up to my 2 SMs but it was obvious that they didn't want to do it. I could tell that they are no longer interested in doing more since the next promotion will be for an Assistant Director position which neither of them wants it. So they are only willing to do the bare minimum. But for me, I need to do more to chase for a promotion or even a better grading. So truth be told, when the opportunity rises, I presented my ideas and it was accepted.

Now I got 5 new things to do and I could put them in my appraisal.

• Update of photo catalogue for record & future reference.
• Scheduling themes for all the tour programmes.
• Research & update of the education kit.
• Worksheets for all the assembly talk programmes.
• Engagement sessions/workshops/seminars for the volunteer guides.

Now, I'm looking forward to doing them. I will be busy, but it will be a good kind of busy. It will be a good thing.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be going along smoothly.

Expected

At times, I honestly hate my instinct. Like I know throughout my life, whenever I feel good or confident about something, there's that 20 percent nagging feeling at the back of my head, just expecting something to go wrong. And it annoys me that I will suppress that feeling, just so for me to be hopeful even though I know fully well that it will not go the way I'm hoping. That hopeful feeling that gives me the courage that maybe this time might be different. 

Truth be told, I thought I got the job and this time round, that nagging thoughts didn't annoyed me that much, thus I was so sure about it. Alas, it's not meant to be. I didn't get the job. I didn't expect myself to get triggered by the rejection. So now, I'm trying to convinced myself that it's alright. Just trying to straighten out my thoughts and focus on the positives of my current job and maybe the silver lining on why I didn't get this job.

And it irks me that I wasn't sure about my feelings to wanting this job. After the final interview, while waiting for the results, I was constantly thinking that if I get the job, that will be great and if I didn't get the job, that is okay. Now, I'm disappointed that I didn't get the job and all sorts of reasons are running through my head as to why I didn't get the job offer.

I will be fine but I just feel the need to wallow in self-pity first. And might do something stupid just to make myself feel alive or something.

---

So it's 1 good news and 1 bad news.

• Good news - 0.3 for my mid-year bonus.
• Bad news - Didn't get the new job.
• Pending news - my BTO results got pushed to August due to the new system.

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Maybe it's a sign for me to continue traveling. I will be going to Ho Chi Minh City, then Phnom Penh, then Bangkok and lastly, Kuala Lumpur in September. Followed by Bali for my solo birthday trip. I just need to put myself first, focus on myself, my needs and my happiness. I paid for all my activities, hotels and I even splurged on Shiseido products for myself on impulsed. I had no idea what i was thinking but I better look pretty for my friend's September wedding and before I fly off for my solo trip.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be fine.

Not surprisingly

And as usual, my instincts are wrong.

I was originally planning to drop the employer an email to ask for the status of my job interview on the 1st of June. Then I was swamped with work and completely forgot to follow up on it. The following Monday, I received the call, I pass the 2nd interview and I will be moving on to the 3rd interview which will be on this coming Wednesday. A panel interview with 3 interviewers and one of them is the HR Director. I'm a tad surprised that the HR Director will be joining considering that the position is not even a middle management role.

I'm slightly nervous and excited about the prospect of working at this new sector.

On to another note, counting down to my holiday in 3 months' time. Time to start planning properly for my solo trip. Paid for the tickets, booked the hotels, now it's time to plan and book all the activities. 

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Updated on 14th Jun - 

I think the interview went well. There were 3 interviewers - apparently, it wasn't with the HR Director. It was with a Deputy Director and 2 Assistant Directors. Surprisingly, I did not feel as nervous as I expected myself to be. I was able to describe and explain my current role accordingly albeit with a touch of embellishment. I felt that I was engaging with them throughout the interview, though at times, my mind went blank as I kept looking for the English words for certain things. I was able to make them laugh a few times, making the interview more relax. I was able to clarify things about the job with them, along with informing them of my strengths. And they told me that they will get back to me in 2-3 weeks time, so that will be around 1st week of July. My instinct is telling me that I got the job but you never know.

So July is going to be a big month for me, I guess. I will find out if I get the HBD BTO that I applied for. I will find out if I get this job. I will find out how much is my mid-year bonus. Let's hope all 3 will be good news for me.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be fine.

Instinct

My instinct is telling me that I didn't get it, but I'm really hoping that I'm wrong. In the first place, there has been numerous times where my instincts have been wrong, so its the kind of situation where I hope that my instinct would fail me again. But at the same time, there is this tiny nagging feeling at the back of my brain telling me that I might be right this time round. And it's annoying the shit out of me.

I'm giving myself until 31st May, if there's no update, then I will drop them an email just to check in. I mean they did say that they will get back to me in 2-3 weeks time. 31st May is exactly 3 weeks later. Not sure why I'm feeling unsettled by this. Originally, I was nonchalant about it but now, I guess, I really do want it.

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On to another topic, I got a too-good-to-be-true offer. An 8 days 7 nights all-expense paid trip to Phuket. Off course there's a catch, which is to take care of the other party during the whole trip. Obviously we will have a list of rules about this trip but in all honesty, I feel that I will actually enjoy the trip. I mean taking care of the other party while they are healing and pretty much be on my own the rest of the trip. I just need to bring my laptop, a good book and my art supplies - 8 days will be over just like that.

But as usual, that voice is telling me that it might not happen. I'm still waiting for the other party to confirm the dates and considering that I still have like 30 days of leave, I can just apply anytime as long as it doesn't clash with my colleagues' schedules or any of our major work event - which we have none for this year. I really want this trip to happen.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will work itself out.

Hoping

So I applied as a Foreign Service Administration Specialist at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. 

The job role is pretty much what I'm familiar with - administration and operational roles, but the interesting part is that I will be assigned to one of the 7 divisions - Administration, Consular, Corporate Services, Human Resource, Protocol, Strategic Communications or Technical Cooperation - and because of this, my career path will have options rather than being limited. And after 3 years of working at HQ, I will have the opportunity to be assign overseas to one of the 50 countries that Singapore has an Embassy office in. That has always been one of my goals - to work overseas - and this is one of the ways for me to achieve it.

I applied for the position on 26th January. I was informed that I was shortlisted on 10th April. My first interview was on 18th April. My second interview, part 1, was on 24th April. My second interview, part 2, was on 10th May. If I pass this, my third interview will be a panel interview. I'm crossing my fingers, hoping that I will get the shortlisted for the third interview. 

I think I have not lose my interviewing skills and abilities. I did went for a job interview back in January, and I was 100% sure that I got the job since both the Country Manager and HR Manager wanted me to sign the contract the following week. But it was just not meant to be, since both of them accidentally mess things up. Honestly, I don't blame them but I blame the office-busybodies. Anyway, I'm confident of my face-to-face interview. 

Even though the HQ is at Tanglin and it's 1.5 hours of traveling time (from the minute, I step out of my house until I reach the building), for the sake of being given that opportunity of working overseas, I'm willing to endure it. My desire to work overseas is getting stronger.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be alright.

PS: That was wonderful! I can't seem to get it out of my mind.

Moving On

 Got my appraisal grading today. I got another C. Three years in a row.

I mean, for my first year, I was expecting a C grade considering that I didn't do anything new other than whatever was clearly stated within my job scope and making the effort to learn things out of my purview to expand my knowledge.

Then for my second year, half way through, 1 manager went on her maternity leave, another manager left to do her Masters and another manager quit her job. So basically, I was juggling bits and pieces of their roles until one of them came back from her maternity leave. It was 2 of us covering 4 people's duties. I was expecting a C+. I did more than what was expected of me. I did things that were not part of my job scope, mainly because it was thrown to me. Let's be honest, off course I expect monetary recognition for it rather than just a thank you. Thank you does nothing for my financial situation. And I got a C.

Last year was my third year, I took over 2 of my managers' portfolios on top of my job scope, expending my roles because I was putting in the effort to get a C+ grading. I was assisting the respective sub-divisions (Programming, Architectural & UNESCO teams) in any way possible. I felt that I was taking on more compare to my time as a temp staff and my first year as a perm staff. I was confident that I can get a C+ grading because during my appraisal, I was able to list down things that I did and my accomplishments. Personally, I could see the growth in my work compared to my first and second year.

But hey, I guess it's still not enough.

And now, with the current restructuring and answering to multiple people, I've lost interest in my job already. I've started job hunting. I thought that I wanted to apply for an opening in another division until I discovered that I won't be able to renegotiate for a higher pay even if the job title is higher than my current job title. Then what is the point of me applying for a different role in another division if I'm not going to get a higher pay? 

Sending out my resumes. Hopefully, I will get at least a first interview or something. I need to practice my skills getting interviewed.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be fine.

Confirmed

I just decided to go for it. I was still hesitating until the very last minute. 

I mean, I wanted to go to Tokyo since it has been more than 8 years since I went there on a school trip. I knew back then that I would go back for a proper holiday and explore it. There are so many things to do in Tokyo that I knew I would need at least 2 weeks to take my own time and explore the city.

Then I got sucked into the world of Kdrama and Kpop, I desperately wanted to go to Seoul and visit the big 4 entertainment companies of Kpop. Dive into the romantic fantasy world of Kdrama and Korean culture. And also, part of me really wanted to go to a Kpop concert or fanmeet while I'm there.

Over the years, as I did more research on Tokyo and Seoul, I ended up getting torn with the decision and came to the conclusion to do 1 week in Tokyo and 1 week in Seoul. Alas, COVID happened and I overlooked the situation that both Tokyo and Seoul are really popular tourist cities. So by the time, I wanted to buy my flight tickets, they knocked up the prices. Then all the hotels and airbnbs that I have saved in my list were taken up before I knew it.

I was still contemplating to go to either Tokyo or Seoul, provided that I could find a hotel to my liking, since airbnb apartment pretty much cost the same price as a hotel room. Unfortunately, all the hotels that were out of my original list were either taken up or way out of my budget.

I came up with a back-up plan but even that, I was unsure about my back-up until yesterday. I just went for it. I decided not to think further or else I will just be annoyed at myself.

Thus, I booked my flight tickets and reserved my hotels.

1. Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

- 17 - 20 September 2023

- Arrival via Scoot.

2. Phnom Penh, Cambodia

- 20 - 23 September 2023

- Arrival via Angkor Air Cambodia

3. Bangkok, Thailand

- 23 - 27 September 2023

- Arrival via Bangkok Airways

4. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

- 27 - 30 September 2023

- Arrival via Malaysia Airlines

Now it's time to plan my itinerary and make sure that it's spread out so that I won't feel that it's too rush and tire myself out. 2 weeks overseas, exploring 4 cities.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be fine.

Change of Plans

For my next solo trip, I originally planned to go to Seoul for 2 weeks. Then after doing a little bit of research, I realised that I would really prefer to go to Seoul with someone or with a group of friends who are into Kpop/Kdrama or until I have the confident and courage to go to Kpop concert or fan-meet alone.

So I decided to instead do an Osaka/Tokyo trip for 2 weeks. 6 days in Osaka and 8 days in Tokyo. Started on my research, planned my activities and saved all the potential hotels and airbnb apartments for me to consider. And this was back in December when I started on my research for my trip. Then a few days ago, I found out that all 12 hotels and airbnb apartments that I had favourited were all not available on the dates that I want. Pushed back the dates and the earliest available dates are December, and the cost increased was drastic. Obviously, I'm not willing to pay almost $1,000 more for those hotels or apartments in December. While looking through the various options for accommodation, nothing was to my liking and I realised that I was not willing to compromise.

• 7 years of working for F1 - all my hotel rooms have a bathtub.
• I went to Paris - my airbnb has a bathtub.
• I went to London - my airbnb has a bathtub.
• I went to Ritz-Carlton - my hotel room has a bathtub.
• I went to Bangkok - my hotel room has a bathtub.

I really need to have a bathtub!

Now, I'm thinking of doing a 15 days' trip to Bangkok, Phnom Penh and Ho Chi Minh City - 5 days in each city. Time to start on my research. A bathtub for each accommodation, that would be ideal.

In Shaa' Allah, everything will be fine.

Monthly Goals

I need to figure out my monthly financial goals and stick to it. 

I honestly feel like I'm still messing around with my finances. 

I need to be more discipline with my money, this year.

1. January - Buy a new phone.
2. February - Buy a new MacBook Air.
3. March - Set aside for Hari Raya.
4. April - Buy Tokyo flight tickets.
5. May - Haiqal & Lianah's baby.
6. June - Booked hotel in Tokyo.
7. July - Nothing.
8. August - Booked tours & pay off for Tokyo trip.
9. September - Tokyo trip.
10. October - Nothing.
11. November - Parents' Istanbul trip.
12. December - Nothing.

In Shaa' Allah, I can stick to it.

2023

  Daily prayers.

1. May Allah SWT forgive my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & my sins.
2. May Allah SWT accept my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & my good deeds.
3. May Allah SWT protect my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & myself from hellfire.
4. May Allah SWT protect my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & myself from any misfortune in this world.
5. May Allah SWT guide my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & myself to the right path.
6. May Allah SWT bring my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & myself to HIS Paradise.
7. May Allah SWT strengthen my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & my faith in HIM.
8. May Allah SWT bless my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & myself with abundance wealth & blessings.
9. May Allah SWT keep my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & myself in good health always.
10. May Allah SWT bless my parents, my family, my friends, my fellow Islamic brothers & sisters & my hearts & minds to be in good conscience always.
11. May Allah SWT allow my parents to achieve their dream of performing the Haj while they are still healthy & have the money to do it.
12. May Allah SWT bless my dad with a part-time job of his liking to keep him busy.
13. May Allah SWT bless my younger brother & his wife with a pair of twin babies soon.
14. May Allah SWT bless my youngest sister & her husband with a baby soon.
15. May Allah SWT give me the strength to love & succeed in my current job.
16. May Allah SWT bless me and let me get a house when I apply for the Tengah BTO in November last year.
17. May Allah SWT bless me with loads of patience and not to get angry easily.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.