ARGH!!!

i cant do tis anymore...
i actualli hav forgotten bout him...
now all i can tink bout is him...
fuck siak!!!

so ayim juz now called to say tat budak2 smuer jln rayer tmr...
gi umah my officer ah...
since he got open hse...
im very tempted to go to wit them...
since itz been a while i hav met up wit them...
& it sure is gonna b fun...
den i realise sumting...
he wld b there...
& itz obvious tat he wld bring his gf...
his other half...
i seriously dunt hav the strength to face him at all...
i wld feel so totally awkward...
out of place...

i lied...
i told ayim tat im werking...
& i cant promise him tat i will cum dwn...
furthermore,
im supposed to jln rayer wit my bitches, sluts, whores & sisters...
hehehe...

im juz too scared to face him at all...
watz the point of loving him knowing fully well we can nvr b 2gether...
& i hav a strong feeling tat i will hav a nervous breakdown when i c him...
i will cry like a crazy drunken bitch...
& tis time, i dunt need to get drunk at all...
juz the sight of him will break me to pieces...
i cant do it...

*crying myself to sleep*