Moving on...

I just needed to put up a picture of the Harries twins. Jack and Finn Harries. They're British. 

Something totally unexpected happened today.

I bumped into an ex-secondary schoolmate of mine. Out of courtesy sake, I said hi. Before I knew it, he told me that he was transferred to the same department as me a few months after I have completed my NS. He was telling me that he knew everybody in the office and vice versa. 

What a small world.

So I just let him continue rattled on about all those men that were under my care during my time of service. The unexpected part was when he told me that he used to be closed to Syed Fairuz. The guy that I am so in love with up till this very day. He just blatantly said that SF is now married to the same girl that has been with him throughout NS. The girl that hated me for trying to so-called steal SF away from her. 

There and then, I could literally hear my heart turn to ashes and being blown away into the wind while my facial expression was still maintaining an interest towards the conversation. My thoughts went back to the 8 months that we spent together. 

I guess upon hearing that news, it was the closure that I needed in order to move on with me life. I've been stuck in this stupid position since 2007. I just wanted to cry my eyes out. I wanted to cry myself to sleep. Right now, I'm just trying to grasp, understand and fully digest the news. Part of me is still living in denial.

Two heartbreaks within a month. I wonder how many more heartbreaks do I need to deal with before I would finally commit suicide? I'm no longer strong as I use to be. It's beginning to hurt. The bandage is no longer doing its job.